Breaking the Double Bind: Redefining Leadership on Your Own Terms
If you’ve ever been called “too aggressive” in one meeting and “too soft” in another, you’ve felt the double bind of leadership.
Women leaders often walk a tightrope:
Show decisiveness and authority → labeled “bossy” or “unlikable.”
Show compassion and collaboration → labeled “too nice” or “not leader-like.”
It’s exhausting, frustrating, and unfair.
The reality is, these conflicting expectations don’t reflect your leadership ability. They reflect systemic bias. And the cost is steep: many women leaders burn themselves out trying to contort into an impossible mold.
Here’s the truth: you don’t have to choose between strength and compassion. You get to define leadership on your own terms.
Redefining Leadership: A New Model
Claim “Both/And”
You can be both decisive and empathetic. Both strategic and people-centered. The most effective leaders blend qualities traditionally coded as masculine and feminine.Reframe Criticism as Data, Not Identity
When someone calls you “too much” of something, pause. Is this feedback based on your performance — or their bias? Use it as data about their perception, not a definition of your worth.Anchor in Your Values
Instead of trying to meet conflicting external expectations, ask: What kind of leader do I want to be? Your clarity becomes your compass.
A Reflection for You
Journal on this: What leadership qualities have I been told are “too much” or “not enough”? How do I actually see them serving me and my team?
The double bind loses power when you stop trying to fit into it. By owning your authentic leadership style, you inspire others to do the same.
✨ If you’re ready to stop walking the tightrope and lead with confidence on your own terms, let’s connect. Schedule a clarity call and let’s redefine leadership together.
