Recognizing Limiting Beliefs: What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?
We all have them.
Little whispers in the back of your mind that tell you you can't, you shouldn't, or you are not enough. These whispers, often rooted in fear or past experiences, are what we call limiting beliefs. They are the stories you tell yourself that hold you back from reaching your full potential and living the live you truly desire.
Think for a moment about something you've been wanting to do, something you've felt a pull towards but haven't yet pursued. What's the first thought that pops into your head when you consider taking that leap? Is it a thought of excitement and possibility? Or does a little voice chime in with doubts and "what ifs"?
Often, these "what ifs" are the telltale signs of a limiting belief at play. They might sound something like this:
"I'm too old to start now."
"I'm not talented enough."
"I don't have the time."
"I'm not smart enough."
"I'm afraid of what people will think."
"I've tried before and failed, so I'll probably fail again."
Do any of these resonate with you? Take a moment to truly reflect. There's no judgment here, only an opportunity for self-discovery. We all have limiting beliefs. The key is recognizing them so you can begin to challenge their power over you.
The Power of Self-Reflection:
Let me share a bit of my own story. Do you recall as a little girl hearing from your parents, "Good girls, do not play with cars, take a doll," or "We are going for family pictures, and you as a girl should wear a skirt or a dress"?
I remember as a child I was often not taken seriously because of my sense of humor. I would often laugh and make silly faces that made others laugh too, but because of my goofiness, people often took me for granted, as if I wasn't smart. Later on in my marriage, I would hear from my husband, "You, as a woman, will not make the same money as me. I have to go to work, and you will stay at home with our son." Those words were so devastating to me.
I knew I could succeed not only as a wife and a mother but also as a professional. When I told him I was thinking about starting my own business, he would laugh at me, saying, "You, kiddo, haha. What business do you wanna start?"
These experiences, these little cuts, they shaped my own limiting beliefs. They whispered that I wasn't capable, that my worth was tied to others' perceptions, and that my dreams were just "kiddo" fantasies. Perhaps you've experienced something similar. Maybe it wasn't about gender roles, but something else entirely. The specifics don't matter as much as recognizing the impact these experiences can have.
Consider this: if a friend told you they weren't pursuing their dream because they were "too old," what would you tell them? Would you reinforce that belief, or would you offer words of encouragement and remind them of all the incredible things they're capable of? We often extend more compassion to others than we do to ourselves. It's time to turn that compassion inwards.
Dismantling the Stories:
It took me a lot of years and pain to re-discover myself again and believe in myself, to believe that I can. And that just because someone has an opinion about me doesn't define me, just like it doesn't define you. People will talk and will have their own opinions and agendas. Staying true to yourself, not seeking validation externally, is what truly liberates you. And this is my wish for you as you read along. Stay true to yourself!
Identifying your limiting beliefs is the first, and often the most challenging, step. Once you've brought these beliefs into the light, you can begin to dismantle them. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Is this belief actually true? What evidence do I have to support it? What evidence contradicts it?
Where did this belief come from?
Is this belief serving me? How is it impacting my life?
What would my life look like if I let go of this belief?
Challenging these beliefs isn't always easy. It takes courage and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone. But the rewards are immense.
Imagine what you could achieve, what dreams you could pursue, if you weren't held back by these self-imposed limitations.
Moving Forward:
This week, I encourage you to pay attention to the thoughts that run through your mind. When you notice a negative or self-limiting thought, pause and ask yourself the questions above. Start small. Focus on one or two beliefs that you'd like to challenge. I recommend journaling and reflecting on your thought to look for patterns. The bad ones and the good ones.
Remember, this is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and know that you are capable of far more than you believe. You have the power to rewrite your story!
What story will you choose to tell?
I would love to hear more about it in comments below.
